Whirl-wind, still alive

I'm alive. Whirl-wind.

A Letter from Angry/Jealous Bachelor.

[This is been a topic of my meditation for some time now.  Every time I visit this topic, it gives me some heavy does of heart burn...I've decided to write it in the form of a letter to my dear female audiences of one, or two, I don't know, you ladies out there tell me if you think I'm finally had it and gone haywire or to the woods...and men, too, I guess...let me know if I was right or this is just totally off the board.  This is very much rambling and venting methinks...]

Dear girl in the noodle shop,

So I took a sick day off re-couping, after a real bad cold/flu/what-have-we, eating my noodle in my favorite noodle shop in town before heading home to rest.  And here I saw this couple sitting across from each other at table.  The girl tried to remove the guy's headphone attempting to get him back to the world of people.  And the guy proceeded to grope the girl.  And the girl, of course, fends the weary tentacle from her.  But she pretends nothing has happened and kept talking and joking with the guy.

What the #*&!!? Something is wrong with this picture, and I'm sure the steam is not from the noodles...

In fact, this is not some far off strange and ridiculous scene!  I've seen this at various events and venues, not just my favorite noodle house.  I've seen it at parties (both kinds - yes, shocking!), airports, libraries, parks, cars (some of which were feats quite dangerous), and, well, a lot of places.  And the actors and actresses of these revolting theatrical productions of infatuation can often be the most innocent and the least suspecting of these actions!  In fact, this is a common scene I've seen across the two lands and cultures, or perhaps they are one of the same, namely this culture of instant gratification and lust!  The situation usually goes like this: guy literally gropes the girl (hands where they shouldn't be or words that should not be said) -- doesn't matter where and who's around -- and girl trying to fend off these attacks whilst pretending nothing is happening.  It behooves me as to why the girls in each of these stories don't just slap the guy and walk away?  What do they have to lose but some guy who have not understand the meaning of their action?  Or worst guys that deliberately do such things?

These scenes brings great anger and injustice to my heart.  Many a good girl, some even of good family backgrounds that I know of, fell prey to these subtle but most disgusting violations, yet they tolerate them!  Where are the man to stand up and say it is wrong?  And why aren't the woman standing up to protection themselves from being used?  Where is the justice in all this for the people who are saving their body for the consummation in the sacrament of marriage?  Preposterous! Outrageous!

Are women today so desiring of intimacy and a body to cling to that they are willing to forgo some of the most subtle and yet essential dignity of their body?  Are they so wanting that even a counterfeit like of love would do to fill that void?  Lying to themselves that at least they have someone, unlike some loser who never had a significant other that will never understand?  Or do they think they can fix these little things through some sort of ritual and body wash?  Or are these men as much as some handsome and cute play toys that can be thrown away when done, when the fun and excitement is no more?  Is this revenge for those years of boys throwing rock at girls at school did?  Or is it plain naifety on the part of the girl mistaking these pro-action boys for some sort of knights in shining armor on a white horse?

Where did all of this strife come from?  It is so subtle, some couples never even notices it before they broken up!  Some only come to the realization afterwards and rationalizes the break up with it.  And guys mostly just don't know what they are doing, or don't care.  Although there are real dangerous "gamers" out there who preys on women through schemes and deceit.  But their numbers are few and woman are generally smarter if not more noticing of it.  Problem then, is, why do things still play out the way it is across the world like this?

The great Pope John Paul II said that the body reveals God to others in his work of the theology of the body. Hullo?  What part of letting your boyfriend or boy friend touching all over you is revealing the love of God?  And what part of groping your girlfriend or girl friend inappropriately reveals God in you?  What part of all this is true friendship and dying to self?  Dating is suppose to be a time to get to know your friend and grow together to know God better and to serve God better.  It is really a time to serve each other and to discern if marriage is a mutual vocation to each other.  It is a time to let the light of Christ to shine forth, and not hiding it in the closet -- Aha, the irony of many of our many modern relationships.  Many try to be away from the preying eyes of our friends and family, lest they JUDGE us (oooo~~!).  Or point fingers, that could be quite stress inducing.  So we hop in our cars and get away to other places where there are many strangers and other couples who are permissive or indifferent to these behaviors!  But true friendship that tends towards God and showing the light of Christ should engage us -- in every sense of the word -- to the works of God.  To share that joy of friendship of knowing God, through our friendships to mirror that friendship.  We should be engaged with our community around us, our church, our neighbors, and our mutual families.  Some puppy love stored in the bedroom of the boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't really show any bit of that -- however non-bad things-ish (pardon the aphasia, fighting a cold at the moment) it is.

Now some might say that they'll grow out of it.  "Ah, boys will be boys".  Well then, they'll stay as boys and never man!  And it is precisely these times when they're all closeted and hiding from everyone that is highly suspect!  They may genuinely nothing to be suspicious of in their activity, but the isolation and behavior of these couples gives the two false impression about dating; that it is all just a game of fun and that if anyone gets hurt, it is because they're not doing something right -- and that is for sure, but not the first part; or that it somehow is some sort of trial marriage like a test drive when buying a car (that you want to see each other everyday and every possible moment with the irony that we don't want to many people to know).  Both attitudes are wrong and are false statements we make with our body to our significant others.  One is of using the other to satisfy ourselves.  And the other is a false counterfeit of pretend marriage and partaking in something that truly belongs in the sacrament of matrimony.

Haven't you ever known a couple that started dating quite humbly and not trying to hide everywhere lest someone/friends/family finds out, and everything that they do seem to flow just like a snap of a finger and seem to be so prayerful and beautiful?  Haven't you ever seen an elderly couple that are so invigorating that seeing their presence together brings joy and energy into your life?  Sure they might be all wrinkly and shaking because of season, but somehow they inspire that love through the beauty of their relationship?  Do you see them groping each other?  Or say cunning things to each other? They are not afraid to show their love to the world, but neither are they joint at the butt with the kind of diabetes-inducing infatuation that we see all too often on street corners.  It is the firm and solid kind of love that inspires us.  The kind of love that lovers lay down their lives for each other! Through thick and thin and not just for a moment of pleasure.  And you never see these Great Women having to fend off attacking tentacles from their Counterparts.  Nor do you ever see these Great Man ever do her wrong (unlike the subject of some country songs we hear all day)!

A really good friend told me couple years ago about how she loved to look at old people, of all their wrinkles and aged hands and faces, of how she fancied those years by-gone and how good a lover that they must have been.  Lover in the real sense, and not this counterfeit the world gives you.  I had wished then that I realized how true and noble of an aspiration it was of her.  And how through the years, oh my heart bleeds, longing and searching for friendship enduring, and Alas! to my bitter disappointment of these horrid theatre of falsity and pretend plays!

My dear women, there are real men out there who are waiting with respect who will treat you with dignity. Just slap the guy real hard, stomp on their foot, and walk out!  Dump them! Take them off of your speed dial for the last time! Don't let anyone trample on your dignity!  Lastly, dump those guys who have not a clue what marriage is about, who thinks with their many appetites and not their brain.  There are plenty of good fish in the water.  Don't go where the sharks bite.  And when in doubt, use a taser or a laser, but don't let them bite!

Lovingly, your brother in Christ,

TMH

N.B.: If I have given the minute implication that dating is quaint and boring sort of questionnaire and answer, all prim-and-proper, let me correct that false impression.  Dating can be fun and exciting, but it is no mere game.  It is a SERIOUS! business of discernment of the soul!  If you went on a date without thinking about what love really is and pray about it, then that is carelessness and imprudent, if not out right irresponsible!  And I'm suddenly reminded of an image of hide and seek.  It was this Woman who offered her Man this really tasty fruit that she found on this tree in this garden that they are taking care of.  And when the Man found out that that's the one fruit that they were not suppose to eat of the whole Garden, he freaked and started hiding.  Actually they both started hiding.  The first thing people do when they make a mistake is to try to hide it or cover it up.  Put it away in a closet or a drawer and never to be opened or re-visited until punishment and doom looms nigh.  And then we find excuses and scapegoats.  And then perhaps it will simply disappear...it's not that the fruit is bad, remember, everything is good (read the Book and you'll see).  What makes things bad is precisely because they are bent.  Or as theologians like to put it this way, "evil is the the privation of a due good".  Against, Love and Responsibility (aha! a certain Great Pope wrote about this subject extensively with that exact title -- if it was not to give us hint of this great subject!) are so intertwined, forget one you forget the other!  In the name of Love is also in the name of Responsibility!

N.B. 2.: Close analysis to follow for sure!

When Doing A Lot Becomes Doing Not-A-Lot.

Over the lunch break, I had a conversation with my coworker about our weekend.  And I shared with him my experience this weekend, the preaching that I've heard, and how I have come to hear Jesus and moves forward in my life.  I wanted to live life to the fullest.  I do not want to be hold back by things in my life.  I desired the joys of loving God because He is my God.  And it is funny how everything this weekend was like God speaking to me and helping me to reflect on what I must do to live my life right now to the fullest.  And at its conclusion I've understood that right now I am only beginning to see the single state of life that I'm in.  That is the fruit in front of me and I have not appreciated it much.  In any case, our conversation lead us down to a discussion about sometimes how people can take on a lot of responsibilities and duties, but end up overloading themselves. And it sort of becomes an escape from reality.  An escape from having to actually carry out conversations with God and with each other.

And we both have seen or heard people at our different churches that take up huge amounts of responsibilities, but end up being burned out; or using all the activities as excuses to not having to answer to their family or home life.  Now, how the single state of life relates to all of this is that as much as I am single, I still need very much the time to spend with God and spend with the people around me.  That's on reason why I have not been very energetic or motivated to any of my ministry.  Because I only see the work and not the people.  I serve, but if not another, then I've served for serving's end.  And that is not meaningful.

It's about the people, their story, and their lives.  But if I'm busy running around to all sorts of things and not have time to spend with good friends, who may on certain days be how God is speaking to us, how can I be nourished fully?

It reminds me of St. Paul's letter about how if a person have so much faith as to move mountains, but did not love.  That is all for naught.  Or how the Devil knows so much, yet if he does not adore God, he is for but naught.  Same goes to those of us who have lots of knowledge of faith.  To much more is given, much is demanded, just like in the parable of the talents.  But it is not how much we've acquired, but how much we live heroically, against all odds, and generously, against our wants, on what we know.  Then will we really have loved.

And this can be a call for us to slow down and look around us.  And really learn about who I am and who God is, instead of the false humility of being Chinese Modest or the non-humility of arrogance in trying to save the world all by myself.

This is a battle cry for souls.  This is the moment where we charge, to the gates of hell!

For Friendship!
For Jesus!
For God!



TMH

Lady Farewell.

[This song is dedicated to my friends Debbie and Janessa.  I thought I take my life and write a song about it.  And I have not written the melody of this song yet.  I guess I might borrow parts of the Lady Come Down song from "On the Importance of Being Earnest" for the bridge...so imagine something for now.  Note that I've borrowed a verse from Oscar Wilde's "Serenade", so I don't claim that I've done all original work].

I'm setting my sail, and I'm going to sea.
And I'll carry my unrequited love
where the Wind takes me
to places yet unreached and people I've not met.

Lady goodbye, 'cause I've set sail
Lady farewell, hope we'll meet again soon.
Lady my love, see you on the next shore.

And don't you worry where I'd be,
'cause in no time we'll all be at heaven's shore
Once again to see, each other to embrace.
Until then, I'm sure, God's mighty Wind
Will do Its work and put us to shore between sea and sea.

Lady goodbye, 'cause I've set sail
Lady farewell, hope we'll meet again soon.
Lady my love, see you on the next shore.

True love is but a woman's toy,
They never know the lover's pain,
And I who loved as loves a boy
Must love in vain, must love in vain.

Goodbye, Goodbye!

Lady goodbye, 'cause I've set sail
Lady farewell, hope we'll meet again soon.
Lady my love, see you on the next shore.


TMH

Friendship.

[I read this article a while back and shared it with my youth group during adoration and here's my own reflection on it.]

When we have all died, and when the curtain of this world has finally come to a close; when we, though exhausted, finally makes to heaven's shore; and when God's face we finally see.  Won't we be glad that all of our friends are standing right there next to us.  Our buddies, our family, and our loved ones?  And I think it would be no surprise that those that were our friends but whom whether through circumstances beyond our control or through our own careless faults have drifted away or become awry should be there standing by our side, in their glorified bodies.

To desire otherwise, either we or our lost friends did not make it to heaven.  And would I not pray for my lost friends so that I may reunite with them in heaven?  Would I be so close of heart to desire someone to be not in heaven?  How does that merit heaven for me?  Nay I say!  And that's why I pray for all those that I've hurt and those that our friendship have withered due to various things, that if on earth they are unrecoverable, may God grant them the graces unbeknowest to me and the reunion finally in heaven.

Knowing that, I may move forward from all sorts of hardship and breakups or fall aways.  And knowing that, I move forward loving all my friends, and give them my best.

TMH

Blessing Untitled.

[I meant to have written this article for some time now, but the words just did not come to me. After the trialling times of the first half of this year, this is a abbreviated summary of my current state of mind, where my disillusions and hopes are intoned; be if of help to you, my dear reads, is my hope and prayer.]

Sometimes, blessings comes as a sure norm. They come from our friends and sources where we know that good will come. And it is often a joyous moment that levitates our spirit and heart. We know what they are: payday after a week of hard work; much needed sleep after three days of no sleeping working on projects; or simply a vacation from all the duties that we have to fulfill in our daily lives. But blessings also comes from unexpected and sometimes unnamed sources. These are the struggles that we go through, the trials and firefights of our lives, that sometimes show us indeed what we, and those around us, are made of. It brings to the forefront our very characters, our humiliating flaws, and our hopes for the day to come. And as Christians, all these trials and struggles witnesses to the world of the call to be perfect and to strife for the life eternal. To do our best and yet still fail sometimes, and to realize that by our prowess alone we cannot attain perfection. Only by the grace of God, Who through Christ strengthens us, may all be possible.

Untitled blessings are those trialling times that we cannot name at first when we are place, but only later to realize as a blessing. It may be a breakup with a friend; or lost of a parent; or failing of a class; or losing a job; or betrayals by people close to you; these and many more, we must receive with humility and open arms with all our might with unwavering resolve to work with. That is the Christian calling. To bear all things with faith, hope, and love -- that one day, our Might God will deliver us. And one day, we will behold His beautiful countenance in heaven, without fear and without shame. Knowing that even in trials, we forget not to praise our Heavenly Father's Name. Knowing that His angels and saints are praying for us, right behind us to comfort us and urges us to move forward. To stand back up and to move forward. To regroup after a failed offensive in battle -- knowing that this battle has already been won in eternity. Crying tears of pain and sorrow -- of loneliness and heartaches; of being lost and confused; and of fear and uncertainty -- but knowing that the arms of Jesus is ever here to embrace; to soothe us in that we might go forth and love and to serve all those we meet.

And to echo those words of our Lord and Master:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for the Kingdom is theirs;

Blessed are sorrowful for they shall be consoled;

Blessed are the merciful for mercy shall be theirs;

Blessed are the pure of heart for they shall see God;"

No matter how big that pain is. No matter how much the lost is. And no matter how inconceivability of hope there be. There is hope. Like Lucy's whisper calling out to Aslan atop Dawn Threader. This hope is not something, but Somebody! And His Name is Jesus. Precious Jesus in the arms of our Blessed Mother, in whose youth the great "Yes" she said. In great love and faith, she embraced the One Hope that humanity has and will ever have -- God Incarnate -- to deliver us from this exile and this fallen state.

Therefore, the Church sings and proclaims in joy on Easter morn:

"O Happy Fault, O Necessary Sin of Adam, for which has won for us so great a Redeemer."

We, Christians, are an Easter people. Living in the hopes of the Resurrected Christ, Crucified Jesus, true God and true Man. For this new purpose that we live. Everything else is blessing poured forth upon blessing -- extravagantly overflowing. Such is the Love of God and such is our Hope.

So we rejoice with Mother Church, exalting in our triumphant victory by which death is handed its death knell whilst life triumphant. We are an Easter people. Our hope is in the Lord and let's help each other and remind each other of this Good News, of joy, of sorrow, of beauty, of pain, but of life everlasting.

TMH

N.B. Make no mistake about it, we are still human, and of our failings there will be many, known and unknown. Only with the help of the grace of God through the ministry of the Church, which Jesus instituted, may we follow a sure path to which the victory is won. That means picking up those of our mistakes and bearing those of other's faults and make life blossom in the field of time with lots of tears and songs.

New Year Resolution 2009.

Firstly,  Happy New Year to any readers I have out there...

I don't usually like to put up resolutions for new years...usually I don't have much good stuff.  But I have been reflecting on my weaknesses this past year and I hope to improve upon it through this year's resolutions.

1. See the sunrise at least once every month, attempt to do it for a whole week if possible, and then go to morning Mass before work.

2. Put to practice more of love through all my responsibilities.  That means work promptly and joyfully even when I see no love or end of it.  Also means apologizing and making up for deficiencies and failures when I have not done so.

3. Clean out my high school and college stuff, re-organize home. [Probably will be a late year project].

4. Try to find beauty everyday and thank God for it.

TMH