[Written on Nov. 15, 2007 A.D., Eve of LOA Initiation, at my battered apartment on Guadalupe, Austin, TX, Edited on Feb 23, 2008, same place]
Dear Lady,
I sincerely apologize, on behave of men of our doing in the disrespectful things that are done throughout time and are occurring, and those that might occur. I know I cannot possibly be at fault or even begin to say sorry for all the wrongs in the world, and at the risk of sounding conceit for taking up these sorrow, but my heart is in pain when I hear of these wrongs and wishes to do or say something to sooth the pain. After conversing with you, I discovered that something that I and no doubt many other men have done in the name of any numbers of excuses disregarded your dignity and beauty.
All I can say is the fact that I admire very much of your beauty: the way you speak; the way you move; the way you are able to point out your delicate heart; and the form that God has made you. All my life, I've sought after you -- wanting to become close to you -- in mind and in proximity! I could imagine that many men are in the same sort of mind frame that I am in. I ask that you forgive us for the deplorable things that we've done. And in contemplation of such said things may we men come to grasp with our weakness and nature. I pray that I will learn in time to not only avoid but also speak up in my place as a fellow human being against such crimes of the soul.
My apology stems from the fact that I did not do, as my believe in truth and moral dictates, but rather encouraged the actions thereof to the violation of your beauty and existence. I could not sleep well knowing that I have tolerated such action, and even myself partook in some. The thought troubles me so and it grieves me to not have recognized this and promptly stop it as part of my duty as a fellow human being and Children of God.
Again I pray that God will forgive me and my brethren for committing such high crimes against your beauty and dignity. I pray for your forgiveness and intercession that friendship and understanding may grow henceforth and that my resolve to chastity and respect of dignity and beauty will not dwindle but rather grow ever fervent.
To Holiness and to Love...with most sincere apology,
TMH
Nov. 15, 2007 A.D.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
A Prayer to St. Michael Archangel
Saint Michael the Archangel,
Defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness
and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him,
we humbly pray.
And do thou, O Prince of Heavenly Host --
by the Divine Powers of GOD --
cast into Hell, Satan and all the evil spirits
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruins of souls.
--
Hail Mary, Full of Grace,
Blessed art thou Amongst women,
Blessed is the Fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of GOD,
Pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
TMH 2/18/2007
Defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness
and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him,
we humbly pray.
And do thou, O Prince of Heavenly Host --
by the Divine Powers of GOD --
cast into Hell, Satan and all the evil spirits
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruins of souls.
--
Hail Mary, Full of Grace,
Blessed art thou Amongst women,
Blessed is the Fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of GOD,
Pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
TMH 2/18/2007
Friday, February 15, 2008
College -- Rise and Fall of Faith
[Originally written 03/07/2007, edited with conclusion on 02/15/2008]
Years ago, when I was graduating from high school, some of my fellow post-college friends told us that our faith in college would either flourish or fall. At the time that felt like a shock and a surge, I keep telling myself, I must make preparations and plans so that I do not fall.
Funny it must have been to God. No man will walk the journey of Christ without falling at least half a dozen times. And most of them will have struggled with various difficulties throughout the journey. One fall cannot destroy us, lest we decide to stay down in despair and in fear. No my brothers and sisters, college may have and probably will be the place that many will trip and fall, it is also a place for many to stand back up and to rise to holiness. And we are only human, we all have faults, no one will journey unchallenged. Even Jesus was tempted in the desert, and through His Lenten journey, Jesus showed us how it is to be done! I can only say from my own experience that if one takes the attitude that college will make or break a Christian -- and to hold the attitude that one may never recover from that -- is despairing and pessimist indeed. We must not forget that our lives are ultimately in the hands of God, and only by following Jesus will we know the way. And let's not forget that the Spirit is our teacher on the way when we are weary and doubtful. God is with us always! His incarnate word was named Emmanuel -- no other religion exists today speaks of the love of God so great -- as to become one and to live among us, and to give of Himself to us -- our very sinful state!
No, my friend, one does not fall and stay down, albeit that our college campus today is extremely voided for God. In philosophy classes, any arguments to do with God is dismissed either as naive, unsupported, discriminatory, or irrelevant. And often, many teaches the way of pleasure or maximized benefits as the criteria in examining moral, ethics, and other lively principles. Textbooks are constructed using weak pieces of the so-called "conservative" position and stronger pieces of the so-called "liberal" position. And these classes are often offered to freshman students as requirements in fine arts and social studies.
In freshman year, I took a rhetoric course titled, "Everything is an Argument", and now I begin to really see that purpose some of these ethics and philosophy classes are really just an argument that awaits to be analyzed and digested -- and not everything can be taken at a face value. But I do not think our average freshman will be prepared for the bombardment of "logistic", "tolerant", "legal" arguments that some of our professors puts up in these classes.
Classes tailored to educate students to be liberal is one thing, the whole experience of without parents and without supervision -- and the kind of activities thereof, drinking, sex, drugs, discrimination, list goes on -- becomes much more like the ordinary run-of-the-mill events one hears from friends and people across the hall. Yes, the outlook of it seems gloom, but it's not all doom I must say.
Unlike my friend, I believe that it is this attitude of oh if I fall, then I'm gone, might as well do this and that, oh, since I've fall so far, might as well try that. Such attitude is what 'causes further degrading of ones will to continue on the journey of faith, along side with the external factors of teenage-hood, leaving-home, new environment, etc. I know it is hard sometimes, seeing all the environmental factors, but we must not forget the attitude we hold also speaks very much of how much action we will undertake. And of course, the Man upstairs is always watching over us. So the outlook isn't all that bad -- in my opinion.
But what do we do when we fall?
Stand back up and keep moving! Maybe there are times when you fall, you don't know where you are and which way to go any more, and that is when you seek the guidance of the Spirit. There's more struggle than just the usual sex, drug, and alcohol lurking around -- loneliness, sickness, grades, vocation, friendship, boyfriends, girlfriends -- tons of them, small things like roommate may even make or break someone's semester -- and possible academic career!
---
But most importantly of all, stand back up and move along. Do you want your faith life to go into Ashes? Because from Ashes we were made, and on the Last Day -- from Ashes we shall rise.
TMH
Years ago, when I was graduating from high school, some of my fellow post-college friends told us that our faith in college would either flourish or fall. At the time that felt like a shock and a surge, I keep telling myself, I must make preparations and plans so that I do not fall.
Funny it must have been to God. No man will walk the journey of Christ without falling at least half a dozen times. And most of them will have struggled with various difficulties throughout the journey. One fall cannot destroy us, lest we decide to stay down in despair and in fear. No my brothers and sisters, college may have and probably will be the place that many will trip and fall, it is also a place for many to stand back up and to rise to holiness. And we are only human, we all have faults, no one will journey unchallenged. Even Jesus was tempted in the desert, and through His Lenten journey, Jesus showed us how it is to be done! I can only say from my own experience that if one takes the attitude that college will make or break a Christian -- and to hold the attitude that one may never recover from that -- is despairing and pessimist indeed. We must not forget that our lives are ultimately in the hands of God, and only by following Jesus will we know the way. And let's not forget that the Spirit is our teacher on the way when we are weary and doubtful. God is with us always! His incarnate word was named Emmanuel -- no other religion exists today speaks of the love of God so great -- as to become one and to live among us, and to give of Himself to us -- our very sinful state!
No, my friend, one does not fall and stay down, albeit that our college campus today is extremely voided for God. In philosophy classes, any arguments to do with God is dismissed either as naive, unsupported, discriminatory, or irrelevant. And often, many teaches the way of pleasure or maximized benefits as the criteria in examining moral, ethics, and other lively principles. Textbooks are constructed using weak pieces of the so-called "conservative" position and stronger pieces of the so-called "liberal" position. And these classes are often offered to freshman students as requirements in fine arts and social studies.
In freshman year, I took a rhetoric course titled, "Everything is an Argument", and now I begin to really see that purpose some of these ethics and philosophy classes are really just an argument that awaits to be analyzed and digested -- and not everything can be taken at a face value. But I do not think our average freshman will be prepared for the bombardment of "logistic", "tolerant", "legal" arguments that some of our professors puts up in these classes.
Classes tailored to educate students to be liberal is one thing, the whole experience of without parents and without supervision -- and the kind of activities thereof, drinking, sex, drugs, discrimination, list goes on -- becomes much more like the ordinary run-of-the-mill events one hears from friends and people across the hall. Yes, the outlook of it seems gloom, but it's not all doom I must say.
Unlike my friend, I believe that it is this attitude of oh if I fall, then I'm gone, might as well do this and that, oh, since I've fall so far, might as well try that. Such attitude is what 'causes further degrading of ones will to continue on the journey of faith, along side with the external factors of teenage-hood, leaving-home, new environment, etc. I know it is hard sometimes, seeing all the environmental factors, but we must not forget the attitude we hold also speaks very much of how much action we will undertake. And of course, the Man upstairs is always watching over us. So the outlook isn't all that bad -- in my opinion.
But what do we do when we fall?
Stand back up and keep moving! Maybe there are times when you fall, you don't know where you are and which way to go any more, and that is when you seek the guidance of the Spirit. There's more struggle than just the usual sex, drug, and alcohol lurking around -- loneliness, sickness, grades, vocation, friendship, boyfriends, girlfriends -- tons of them, small things like roommate may even make or break someone's semester -- and possible academic career!
---
But most importantly of all, stand back up and move along. Do you want your faith life to go into Ashes? Because from Ashes we were made, and on the Last Day -- from Ashes we shall rise.
TMH
College 3. Azn Culture in College Campus
A few years back, before I went off to college, my Godfather Marvin said to me, "Now son, don't you get stuck in the [AZN-ness] culture." I knew what he meant and it took some time to figure out what is the alternative. For me, it is even stranger, because I immigrated to this Country when I was in middle school, and I had much memory of my youth in Taiwan as I was growing up: the customs, culture, and practices sticks with me. What does Marvin meant then, of all this AZN-ness culture?
Well, I knew what he meant, but I could not quite put words to it until I've been at college for a few years living farther away from my culturally close-knit family and friends. For once, I was able to live just as me, living as a Catholic Christian in a diverse campus at UT. And I made a decision to stay away from the all too familiar "culture organizations" such as TISA, TASA, CSA, AACM, or the like. Why? I am Chinese, so why do I not belong to such organizations? Why do I not try to find my roots and get to know those of my origin? And to add to this further, there was often talks about "diversity" or recognizing "diversity" on campus and how there should be more awareness and what not. But in truth, all of these attempts are simply trying to point out the difference and make the contrast of difference that much more tensioned.
In these above organizations, and surrounding, people either have a feeling of comfort in knowing their superiority or have the flame to fight for injustices due to unfair treatments (and sometimes even for unbalanced treatments). And it is all to popular to see on facebook or casual conversation of people's stereotype relating to the AZN culture. They're smart, hardworking, innovative, etc., etc. But some things that people did not say: they're inclusive, always speaking their own languages and leaving others out, or they have such pride that it becomes difficult to exist with them together and not being the "white man" or other forms of odd one out. And to point out of the diversity, further antagonizes the situation. In instances, people within the group promotes this sort of "we should have our own [insert stuff]", and thus arriving to a separate but equal proposition, much to the contrary goal of "ethnic diversity" or "diversity awareness" in trying to integrate a large campus of diverse populous.
There is a second point that I wish to discuss of this issue, in relation to my Catholic faith. A very key and important aspect of the Church is that it is Catholic, or universal, in that it possesses the fullness of truth and that in many aspects of its Mystical Body such truth is encompassed. And to be separate into different branches of interests and even ethnic segments thinking that each segment have the full truth contradicts that spirit. We have to work together -- not separately on our own -- there is not a different Heaven for Asians than the Caucasians, nor the African Americans, nor the Hispanics, nor whatever division that separates people. At this point though, I must point out, however different my philosophy may be, or however crude and un-politically-correct it is, I do not intend to harm or charge the situation. My goal of writing this article, is to treatise and obtain for me the principle reason why I do not participate in the whole AZN-ness culture, and as part of my larger discussion in trying to define "Chinese Catholic in America".
And I understood a little bit of what alternative I should have of this AZN culture. I shall expound on this later.
TMH
Well, I knew what he meant, but I could not quite put words to it until I've been at college for a few years living farther away from my culturally close-knit family and friends. For once, I was able to live just as me, living as a Catholic Christian in a diverse campus at UT. And I made a decision to stay away from the all too familiar "culture organizations" such as TISA, TASA, CSA, AACM, or the like. Why? I am Chinese, so why do I not belong to such organizations? Why do I not try to find my roots and get to know those of my origin? And to add to this further, there was often talks about "diversity" or recognizing "diversity" on campus and how there should be more awareness and what not. But in truth, all of these attempts are simply trying to point out the difference and make the contrast of difference that much more tensioned.
In these above organizations, and surrounding, people either have a feeling of comfort in knowing their superiority or have the flame to fight for injustices due to unfair treatments (and sometimes even for unbalanced treatments). And it is all to popular to see on facebook or casual conversation of people's stereotype relating to the AZN culture. They're smart, hardworking, innovative, etc., etc. But some things that people did not say: they're inclusive, always speaking their own languages and leaving others out, or they have such pride that it becomes difficult to exist with them together and not being the "white man" or other forms of odd one out. And to point out of the diversity, further antagonizes the situation. In instances, people within the group promotes this sort of "we should have our own [insert stuff]", and thus arriving to a separate but equal proposition, much to the contrary goal of "ethnic diversity" or "diversity awareness" in trying to integrate a large campus of diverse populous.
There is a second point that I wish to discuss of this issue, in relation to my Catholic faith. A very key and important aspect of the Church is that it is Catholic, or universal, in that it possesses the fullness of truth and that in many aspects of its Mystical Body such truth is encompassed. And to be separate into different branches of interests and even ethnic segments thinking that each segment have the full truth contradicts that spirit. We have to work together -- not separately on our own -- there is not a different Heaven for Asians than the Caucasians, nor the African Americans, nor the Hispanics, nor whatever division that separates people. At this point though, I must point out, however different my philosophy may be, or however crude and un-politically-correct it is, I do not intend to harm or charge the situation. My goal of writing this article, is to treatise and obtain for me the principle reason why I do not participate in the whole AZN-ness culture, and as part of my larger discussion in trying to define "Chinese Catholic in America".
And I understood a little bit of what alternative I should have of this AZN culture. I shall expound on this later.
TMH
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